We're facebook friends in real life
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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