Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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