can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
