why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
