No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
