hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
