i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
