there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
