ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
