So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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