I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
