i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
