She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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