Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
