Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
