DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
