ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
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