You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
