Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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