Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
