She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
