what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize