I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
