youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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