nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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