Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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