Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Randomize
