We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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