He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
