You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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