stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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