I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
