Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
She bit a glass in half.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
