Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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