pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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