Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
