this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Randomize
