i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
