pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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