Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize
