so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
