Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
