Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
