She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
