u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
