do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
barbara walters just said penis...
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
