Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
