What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
