he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
