hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
