Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Randomize
