Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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