I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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